I just want to say that I'm so grateful for the chance to be having another child. It looked so unlikely at one point that we'd even have one, and even though I'm grateful to have Aurora & would be happy with just her, we really wanted her to have at least one sibling because we feel it's an important lesson in life. After all we both had plenty and learned a lot from our experiences with them, things which can't be learned or experienced any other way. I know it won't be easy, especially at first while I adjust to this new reality of having two children, far from it. In fact it actually scares me a little. Some things I feel more confident about because I've already done it once, and other things I'm more worried about because I've done it before and know how hard it was and this time I'll be doing it with a two year old as well. Part of me worries that he or she won't be anything like Aurora, which is silly because I know all children are different, but I know how to handle an Aurora because I've already got one and she's been pretty good up 'til now, so I know I can manage it. I also worry (as I know a lot of women do), that I won't love this one as much, I mean how can I possibly love any child as much as I love Aurora? I worry that I won't be good or patient enough to look after two children on my own most of the time. Although it had its good points, when I was looking after two children before for several hours at a time, even though one of them wasn't mine, I found it hard and didn't really enjoy it and looked forward to when she went home. I'm hoping I only felt this way because I didn't have the same love and connection to the other girl that I did with Aurora and so wasn't as patient as I would've been had she been mine. I often wonder what he or she will be like, whether it'll be a he or a she, what their hair will be like and whether it'll look like me or Tristram. When I think about our respective families, it seems crazy how different all the siblings are, in looks and personality. Especially between first and second borns, in both cases you wouldn't even know they were related they're so different. It just makes me wonder.
So the pregnancy itself is going pretty well I think, nearly in the third trimester, already pretty large and feeling regular, good, strong movements from within. So far it's very similar to my experience with Aurora, which leads me to think it may be another girl; ridiculous heartburn, gone off the same foods, craving the same foods and generally feeling pretty much the same, although last time I was a bit fitter and healthier which helped. Tomorrow I have the joys of a glucose test, which will hopefully be all good as I'm hoping to have a nice, natural, water birth in Chorley instead of having to go to Preston, which I will do if there are any complications. Despite my concerns I am looking forward to this experience greatly and I know I have been well and truly blessed. I sure hope it continues.
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Your concerns are the same as every mother. I also wondered how I would cope with two, especially as I had no family anywhere near. You are blessed to have plenty of people nearby who can help when needed. In many ways I hope baby #2 is different from Aurora, as all kids need to show their own personality early on. I think Aurora will be so pleased to have a new baby in the house that she will be like your little helper. I can tell you that you will love the new one just as much. Love is not like a cake, where you have to share it out in smaller portions. The more children you have, the more love you have. Ask any mum who has several children and she will tell you how she loves them all equally. And it never stops, even when they are all adults :) Yes, it will be different from childminding, because this child will be yours. You are the most patient and kind person I know so you will manage beautifully. Let family and your church friends help out, so they can share in the joy, too. Remember, your children are not small for very long. One day you will wish they still were! Finally, you can always come to me for any advice you need. Love you lots xxx
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